Remembrance
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: In which John gets his first tattoo, set preseries.


When she hears the bell above her door ring she doesn't look up from what she was doing. "Be with you in a minute." she called out instead, focusing on her drawing for another few moments.

Finally she let out a small breath and straightened up, cracking her neck from side to side and stood, turning to look at the man. "Hi."

He nodded at her in response, eyes still skirting around and taking some of the art pieces in. He had that familiar lost look in his eyes that most first timers had.

"What can I help you with?" she prodded him. "Piercing? Tattoo?"

"Tattoo." he said lowly, his eyes still moving around her store.

She nodded at that. "Do you have something in mind? Or do you want to look at some of the books?" she asked gesturing to her portfolio on the side.

The man shook his head. "I know what I want." he said. "It's a name."

Internally she groaned, she hated doing names. More often than not people wanted their wives, husbands, boyfriend girlfriend whatever name on them and then would come back to her for a coverup.

It did make it easier to pay the bills.

"Alright, so when its words and names I need you to write it out for me." she said grabbing a few papers for him. "This is the consent form, this is the guidelines; you need to read and sign that, and here in this box," she showed him the empty box on the bottom. "You just write out the name you want."

The man nodded and took the papers from her, taking a pen out of his own jacket and looking it all over. So not to make him uncomfortable she started to prepare her tattoo station, laying down a protective covering and readying her tattoo gun.

Turning back to him he handed her the papers back and nodded once more, pocketing his pen. She quickly skimmed over the entire thing, making sure he had signed where he needed to and then glanced at the name he wanted.

"Alright so now you just gotta pick the font that you want, I'll draw it up, make sure you like it, and then we'll get to tattooing." she said trying to keep a cheerful tone.

The man nodded once more, going to the book she pointed out and started to leaf through it staring at the fonts.

Once her back was turned to the man she rolled her eyes, she hated the ones that walked in like they were being forced into a tattoo. Biting back a sigh she stretched her wrist and cracked her fingers to get ready.

"Here." the man said, bringing her attention back to him. She turned around and he was pointing to a cursive font, elegant and serene. "This one."

She nodded and sat back down at her desk. "Alright, give me a few minutes, I'll have something made and you'll let me know if you like it."

The man nodded and slowly walked around her store, his eyes going to the art pieces once more as he took them all in.

Carefully she took her calligraphy pen and glancing at the name he had written to make sure it wasn't any different from the other names she carefully started to write, keeping her movements nice and easy. Once she was done, it was a simple four letter name, she leaned back and let out a small breath.

Picking up the paper she held it up, he automatically glanced at her when she did. "Is this good?"

The man stared at the name for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, it's good." he said.

She nodded and placed the paper back onto the table for a moment. "Alright so I'm going to have you sit in the chair now, and where do you want the tattoo?"

Wordlessly he unbuttoned his shirt and she held back a groan, he tapped the area over his heart. "Here." he said, because of course he did.

She kept a smile on her face, half of it was being professional, and turned back to her table. "Alright so shirt off and in the chair, lean back against it." she heard the whisper of clothing being pulled off and then the sound of him getting into the chair. "I'll have it for you in a minute."

Once she had it on the tracing paper she carefully peeled the sticker back and walked towards the man, taking care to make sure that the paper didn't curl. "Alright, show me exactly where you want it to be." she said.

The man slid a finger over his left bicep, right over his heart. "Right here."

She nodded and carefully placed the stencil on the area he had gestured to. She grabbed a mirror and showed him the position. "This is good?" she asked.

The man took the mirror from her and looked it over, his eyes falling to the ground. "Yeah, its good."

With that she reached over and pulled the paper off of him, leaving behind the trace that she was going to follow. "Alright," she grabbed her seat and her gun, getting nice and comfortable. "Is this your first tattoo?"

"Yes."

"Alright so considering the area we're doing this in, it's going to hurt really bad, I'm not sugarcoating this." she said. "Try your best not to move when I'm tattooing, if you do it might cause me to mess up." She waited for him to nod that he had heard her. "If you need to take a break just let me know so that I can stop."

"Alright." the man said leaning back to let her work. "I'm ready."

She nodded and fired the gun up, taking a moment to get used to the vibration and then leaned forward, dipping the needle into the small cap of ink. Placing one hand on the man's chest for leverage she brought the needle forward and let it sink into the man's skin a few times, glancing up at him. "Is that alright?" she asked.

He hadn't even moved, just staring down at the gun as she held it. "It's fine, you can continue."

Nodding she leaned in and dipped the needle in ink once more before she continued, her other hand grabbing a small towelette to wipe away at some of the ink that escaped her gun.

She had the first letter done when she spoke. "So, whose name is this?"

"My wife." he said, almost curtly.

That was what she was afraid of, most of the time when someone comes in to get their partner's name that is the day they go home to find them in bed with someone else.

"Well that's nice, is she going to get your name as well?" she asked trying to stay bright about it.

"No." that was most definitely a curt answer.

"Alright," she said letting the subject drop for a moment, focusing on the second and third letter. The man wasn't even flinching or even reacting to the tattoo gun. "So is this going to just be a surprise for her?"

"No." he said. "She's dead."

She stopped for a moment and swallowed, willing her hand not to stay in one place or shake. "Oh." she said softly. "I'm sorry."

The man nodded, more of a jerk than a nod, and stared at the wall. Biting down on her tongue she just focused on finishing the last letter, clearing her throat. She leaned back and nodded. "Alright, it's done." she handed him the mirror once more. "Let me know if you want to add anything extra or anything else."

The man stared at the name on his chest and took a deep breath, reaching up to touch the area under the tattoo. "No," he said quietly. "It's good, thank you."

She nodded and grabbed the plastic bandages and carefully placed it over the tattoo before taking her gloves off. "Alright, let me just give you the instructions for the after care and then you can pay and you'll be ready to leave."

She turned away to clean up the station as the man got up and carefully put his shirt back on. "Make sure you don't touch it for a few hours so that you don't irritate it. No water exposure and if you can, keep the bandage on it for a couple of days." she told him as she grabbed her calculator and quickly crunched the numbers together and told him the total.

He handed her cash and she handed him the receipt and the instructions for the after care for the tattoo.

"Alright." she said softly. "Take care."

The man nodded once more and glanced over the paper before he pocketed it. "Have a good day." he said before he turned and left.

She let out a small breath and took the papers, sliding them into the folder inside of her desk. She nodded and got up, wanting to sanitize her chair one more time to make sure that it was all cleaned up for her next client.

* * *

John sighed as he came back to the motel and threw his jacket to the side, his fingers itching to reach up to touch the tattoo but didn't. The kids were still at school for the time being so he still had some time before he went to pick them up.

He hesitated for a moment before he went to the bathroom, taking his shirt off as he went.

Getting the tattoo hadn't hurt as much as he thought it was going to, it was easy to zone out and let the pain drift to the corner of his mind. It was rather so simple for him to ignore it that he was debating to go back and get some more.

But this...this was perfect for the first one. He turned the light on in the bathroom and walked over to the mirror, letting his eyes linger on it for a few more moments.

He reached out and lightly touched the edge of the plastic, his fingers stroking under the name, feeling his heart twist slightly in his chest.

 _Mary_

Written clear as anything forever on his skin and over his heart. Closing his eyes he leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against the mirror and he let out a small breath, fogging up the glass for a few moments.

He pressed harder onto the bottom of the tattoo, as if if he pushed hard enough it could be imprinted even further and it would pierce through straight to his heart.

 _Mary_

"I miss you so much." he whispered, opening his eyes to look at it once more. "I miss you so damn much."

 _Mary_

John let out a shaking breath, pulling away from the mirror and straightening himself up. He turned the sink on and splashed some water onto his face.

Running a hand down his face John couldn't help but let his eyes drift to the tattoo once more, unable to keep a small off of his face. He took care to never damage or possibly lose his wedding ring but it was still something that could fall off of his finger or be taken off. But this way he could keep a small piece of her with him forever.

Smiling he gave a nod at his reflection, at the tattoo, and slid his shirt back on, turning to leave the bathroom, feeling an odd sense of peace settle against him.

A corner of his mind started to go to other possible tattoos that he could get, maybe some protective runes or some sort of good luck charms.

But the next ones he wanted to get, was Sams and Deans name somewhere close to his heart as well.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural**

 **Trying to get back into writing slowly.**


End file.
